Februari 14, 2013

Dear Diary,



18 September 2012

Aku baru marampungkan halaman dua ratus tujuh puluh tiga Dunia Sophie. Satu-satunya hal yang menurutku amat sangat disayangkan adalah buku ini tidak menjelaskan filsafat dari sudut pandang Islam. Kupikir itu akan menjadi kajian yang bagus untuk dikupas secara mendalam. Meskipun begitu, sejauh ini aku berhasil menempel ulang serpihan-serpihan sejarah dalam otakku.

Aku baru tahu, Aristoteles itu muridnya Plato, sementara Plato sendiri muridnya Socrates. Ketiganya termasyhur dalam sejarah. Dari presiden hingga anak sekolah dasar paling tidak pernah mendengar nama mereka satu kali. Mereka menjalani proses belajar dan mengajar yang secara Islam terkandung dalam konsep generasi rabbani. Terkadang pemahaman mereka saling bertentangan, satu merupakan anti-tesis bagi yang lain. Sedang sintesisnya, kita sebagai pembaca yang harus merumuskan sendiri.

Aku merindukan pembelajaran yang seperti itu. Sejatinya, saat kita mengajar sebenarnya kita sedang belajar. Lebih dalam lagi, seperti cacing yang menggali tanah di musim kering.

Hari ini, pelajaran yang kudapat banyak. Sebelum ke bagian utamanya, I’d like to thank Allah, The Merciful Lord of living things who gives me the strength to think and erudites me in many way I can’t imagine.

Dosen biologi evolusiku yang sejak dulu kala dikenal super sibuk hari ini berkesempatan masuk kelas. Banyak senior bilang bahwa ia merupakan sosok yang amat sangat liberalis, tapi pada kenyataannya di kacamataku, ia adalah seseorang yang logis.

Hal yang kugarisbawahi selama perkuliahan berlangsung adalah bahwa seleksi alam merupakan proses seleksi makhluk hidup berdasarkan kemampuan bertahan hidup yang diakibatkan karena adanya mekanisme kompetisi antar organisme, salah satu contohnya adalah predasi. Mekanisme predasi melibatkan dua komponen yaitu predator atau pemangsa dan mangsa itu sendiri. Dalam konteks global, predasi merupakan bagian dari jaring-jaring makanan yang ada di suatu ekosistem. Lalu bagaimana seleksi alam bisa terjadi?

Sebelum dapat memahami konsep seleksi alam, ada satu hal yang perlu diluruskan. Adalah salah bahwa seleksi alam merujuk pada proses seleksi kesempurnaan. Kemampuan yang lebih untuk bertahan hidup sering kali disalahartikan sebagai kemampuan yang sempurna. Sementara dalam konsep seleksi alam, kesempurnaan untuk bertahan hidup lebih kuat merupakan suatu hal yang relatif. Faktor-faktor yang mempengaruhi relativitas ini bermacam-macam, bisa bentuk predasi, perubahan lingkungan, maupun intervensi manusia atau domestikasi.

Bayangkan saja, saat revolusi industri di Inggris, kupu-kupu Biston betularia yang putih mengalami penurunan jumlah populasi yang signifikan dibanding dengan kupu-kupu Biston betularia yang berwarna hitam. Lalu apakah di sini berarti bahwa kupu-kupu Biston betularia warna hitam memiliki kemampuan bertahan yang lebih secara genetik? Tidak, Biston betularia hitam secara kebetulan memiliki warna yang sama dengan asap hitam yang dihasilkan pabrik-pabrik sehingga bersifat kasat mata, sementara yang putih harus rela terlihat mencolok sehingga mudah diburu sang predator. Jelas terlihat bahwa proses seleksi yang terjadi pada keduanya bukan didasarkan pada sifat genetis kuat atau lemah. Bukan pada sifat bagus dan jelek, tetapi relatif berdasarkan faktor-faktor agen seleksi.

Just can’t stop it, it isn’t enough to explain evolution briefly. And my brain is screaming loud, hungry to be fed by another logical explaination as its nutrition.
But, for today, it’s over. Thank you.

Radhiitu billahi rabbaa wa bil islaami diina wa bi Muhammadi rassuula, Rabbi shahrii shadrii wa yassirlii amrii ..

BU.MI. MA.TI.


Bu,
Bersediakah kau memaafkan?
Kami anak-anak Adam tak tahu diri
Mengambil
Mengeruk
Merampas
Kami anak-anak Adam yang durhaka

Mi,
Akankah kau bertahan?
Menerima
Mengasuh
Mengayomi
Kami anak-anak Adam durjana

Ma,
Marahkah kau?
Untuk debu-debu yang mengerak,
Kepulan asap yang mengarak
Menyesak
Sebagian kehidupan mati sekarat.
Untuk air yang menghitam,
Kelam layaknya malam
Dan gelembung-gelembung ikan tidak lagi bersemayam
Kasihan,
Mereka tak punya makam.
Untuk semua mereka yang tumbang,
Gugur dan melayu
Korban kemegahan
Serakah anak-cucu Adam
Yang lahir dari tanahmu
Tapi membuatnya gersang

Tidakkah kau harusnya murka?

Februari 03, 2013

It takes long time for me to tell you about ..


LOVE.

Here I am, in my last chance enjoying free time at home. Basically, today is such a whole sleep time. I don't even have work and my brothers use the internet all the time so yeah all I can do is just sleep :D

I don't feel I really have feelings. I know I am a human, definitely.
Sometimes I think I'm cruel and mean.
Sometimes I think I'm a liar and maybe a two-faces person.
I had so many people love me but I made sins that hurted them so they probably turned to hate me.
I had so many friends before but I said many harsh words that they probably turned to erase me ever from their memories.
And I'm feeling upset too, I am angry to myself. Why did I do that? Before I knew about boy and love, I didn't like that.
It's all just because love, love, and love I got so much trouble. With God. With my parents. With my friends.

That's reasons why it takes long time for me to speak it off.
Because I hate love changed me.

Januari 31, 2013

I guess ..


There are thing that you're scared of. And because of it you never want to speak it off, right?

Absolutely,
I have one. Or maybe more?




I think it's more.

They're just wearing bold masks and letting me down for that.


Two days ago .. I found a bunch of real fact that opened my eyes about KPOP really is.
Back then, I tought Girls' Generation with its nine cute girls was awesome and just gorgeous especially Seohyun (I posted some of her photos). Okay, I knew there are possibilities that they did plastic surgery and I just didn't care about that. I was falling for their charm and characters. They're pure, kind, funny, and just talented.



But, I read articles which was written by someone who had a friend that worked with them as stylist. It was shocking that the articles said they didn't really innocent and kind-hearted like what we saw on TV. Their relationship isn't that tight. I don't even think I can describe it with words. I mean, they're just putting masks.

Everything on TV is scripted.

For every single thing they did. And I wonder how many times I was being lied. By Girls' Generation. By KPOP industry in general.

I live in Indonesia and in my opinion almost all of the artist is fake. Their acting isn't natural and so excessive. Therefore, when I knew about these girls, I was totally into them. And a year later, I was totally into KPOP. Not only about Girls Generation but also SMTown, KPOP variety and reality show such as We Got Married and Running Man and so on.

I started loving We Got Married during a lovely year-end holiday in 2010. There were Khuntoria Couple roled by Nichkhun 2PM and Victoria f(x). Also, Goguma Couple roled by Seohyun Girls' Generation and Yonghwa CNBlue. I loved them both but Khuntoria Couple more. They were sweet, lovable, and looked so natural showing affections. They held hands, hugged, and fed each other whenever and whatever they ate. I tought, oh they do love each other! Just so adorable!


But, I found news that sucks. The headline was Nichkhun and Tiffany is Dating. Guess what? I got really shocked and also by want-to-know feelings.
I'm telling you I'm not kind of person who really care about gossip so it was in 2010 but I knew that in early of 2013. You know? My eyes are popeyed and my brain shouted many disbelieve words. It was like No, no, no~ It can't be! I probably get it wrong!
Sadly, it was true. And I hated it so much.
Here are my reasons:
1. That time, in 2010, Nichkhun was doing We Got Married with Victoria which means they were just acting. Oh God, they fooled me!
2. I adore Nichkhun for being cute but manly at the same time. For being kind and respect to every person he meet. Opposite, I hate Tiffany much more than I adore Nichkhun because she's like bitch, pretending to be sexy but actually she's not.

So, when they date, I don't even need to tell you twice, right?

I'm back!


So yeah, I'm here again, taking care of you, Dear~

I don't really have interesting stories, you know. I mean, there's nothing makes me so happy or so sad. I'm just flat all the time.
So boring. Yeah, that's me.

But, I am on my third term holiday and enjoying my time mostly at home with 24 hours internet broadband. So yeah, I'm spending every minute by googling.
Googling every thing I like, such as ..
Taylor Swift with her new album RED which was released months ago but I've just known these days. Really! I mean, even I love her songs so much, I'm not that kind of person that's so into looking for her.

And so, yeah, I love RED. She clearly speaks my heart.

"And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do
I bet you think I either moved on or hate you
'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply
I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say hello to you
And risk another goodbye"


A little bit from I Almost Do which is really really I am.

Desember 25, 2012

Payung Rasa


Sudikah kau bersabar, dengan rasaku yang seperti musim?
Silih berganti. kemarau yang kering Penghujan yang basah.

Bila tidak, belilah payung di toko sebelah.
Tinggallah di sana.
Biarkan payungmu terus baru.


-karya Muhammad Dirgantara "Merentang Pelukan" 2012